Outcomes, Inc.

by Wendy T. Deluca, LPCC, Clinical Therapist Outcomes, Inc.

Valentine’s Day can be difficult for single women, either because they don’t have a man in their life, or because their sweetheart is not showing the kind of love, tenderness, and respect that they desire and feel they deserve.   The dictionary says “February 14 is observed in honor of St. Valentine as a day for the exchange of valentines and other tokens of affection”.  Nowhere in this definition does it say that the affection has to be between a man and woman who are married or are dating. On this day I give cards to my mother and pappy and other special friends in my life.   If my dog could read, he would get one too, because he would be and is my valentine every day.   I know women who threw parties to celebrate with their single girlfriends.  Not only did they have a lot of fun, but were also able to create what I call “a new memory” of a day that may bring about feelings of emptiness.

Instead of being tempted to “take a drive down loneliness lane”, remember that being lonely and being alone are two separate and very different situations.  I would like to empower you to take back this day and make it your own.  How can you show love to others?  In your season of singleness, how can you love your family, friends, coworkers, and maybe even that annoying neighbor?  You can choose to show them kindness and affection.  You can do chores around the house, help a friend in need, give a listening ear to someone that really needs it, or volunteer with a ministry that works with those who are less fortunate.  The great thing is that all of these are free, yet priceless.  When we take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on others, the whole atmosphere changes.  Just don’t forget that you need to give yourself love, too.  You can buy that teddy bear and a box of chocolates for yourself, and be sure to get the kind you like.  Go ahead, pamper yourself with that manicure or massage at the spa.

I recently read about an alternative called “Singles Awareness / Appreciation Day” or S.A.D. for short, but don’t let this acronym discourage you.  S.A.D. is supposed to be a humorous holiday, often celebrated on the 13th or the 15th of February to get away from the commercialism that is associated with the 14th.   It is targeted as a “substitute” for Valentine’s Day for people who are single and not involved in a romantic relationship.   On S.A.D., people gather to celebrate their single status.   Ladies – what if we all got together to make a stand for ourselves and remind all the romantic couples, and the world for that matter, that we don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate life?  And If you really need a kiss, my dog would love to come visit you and his kisses will never run out.  Best of all, his love is unconditional.



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